Three survivors from the March 15 terrorist attack in Christchurch are "learning now how to live" two years on from the tragedy.
Fifty-one people were killed and 40 others were injured after a gunman opened fire at worshippers at two Christchurch mosques on March 15, 2019.
Aya Al-Umari, who lost her brother Hussein in the terror attacks, said surviving family members "go through the grief journey every day".
"It is around this date that all these feelings starts to intensify and brings back all the memories around the manner that Hussein, my brother, was killed amongst 50 others but we are as OK as we can be — that pretty much sums up how we are."
"I don't think there is any real pattern to it all," added Sara Qasem, who lost her father Abdelfattah Qasem in the tragedy.
"The thing with grief is it's just incredibly unpredictable. You can have the smallest, most insignificant of things that can truly just take you right back to that day and more positive things that remind you of your loved ones that have passed. But there's no pattern. It's very much just a winding journey that sometimes loops back, forward and then continues on."
Siham Alsalfiti, who lost her husband, was overcome with grief when she last spoke to Breakfast host John Campbell six months on from the tragedy, saying at the time, "Don't ask me how I am because I'll break."
She still mourns, but the emotions are less raw two years on, she told Campbell today.
"We are learning now, we are learning now how to live," she said.
"I personally feel that I'm learning how to live with a cloud of grief on my head. Sometimes it's too heavy, sometimes it's a bit lighter. However, it can hit you at night. It's a learning curve."
Al-Umari said she has "chanelled my grief through living life how Hussein used to live his life".
Siham Alsalfiti lost her husband, Abdelfattah Qasem, in the terror attack.
"So this is what helps me pick up the pieces that Hussein has left and move forward from there."
She said her brother "touched so many souls" and "lived life to the fullest", adding that she will "continue to live his legacy".
Al-Umari said he was "so passionate about local tourism [that] one day he got a campervan and just left it at Mum and Dad's house and said, 'Explore New Zealand!'"
With his legacy in mind, she said, she has ticked off "quite a few things on my bucket list" over the past two years.
"He's all about protecting people and so I picked up martial arts. He's all about helping people so I picked up some volunteer work and that is how I will continue to live Hussein's legacy and try to move forward from here.
"This is what helps me move forward — to continue living his legacy."
Aya Al-Umari lost her brother Hussein in last year's March 15 terror attack.
Qasem, a high school teacher, said she initially found it difficult to answer her students' questions "when it was extremely fresh and extremely new".
"It's difficult because you sort of don't have a grasp of what your emotions are going to look like, but I'm definitely at the stage now where I really don't mind mentioning it to them because it doesn't change it, you know? It's a matter of fact thing," she said.
Qasem said while she has had "some pretty incredible conversations" with her students, she would not "say that some kids don't say some things sometimes that you might find concerning".
She said the discussions can be seen instead as a learning experience.
"What better a place than in the classroom, if kids are willing to talk and to listen and prompting at themselves to have the conversations from somebody that's been directly affected by it?
"I feel really grateful when they feel brave enough to, because I know they know that of course it's an upsetting thing for me so I feel very proud of them when they feel that they can come to me and discuss those topics."
Alsalfiti said she sometimes does not feel safe as a Muslim living in New Zealand after hearing stories of racism and having scarves pulled, but said it was "not all about me — it's about everyone here in New Zealand".
Al-Umari said she had a similar experience after being made the target of racist abuse while speaking with her mother in Arabic.
"It's quite sad that it still has happened even though we, as a country, went through what we went through," she said.
However, she said it is their collective duty to "call out these bad behaviours and not only that, but also educate ourselves".
"That is the number one factor when it comes to making such racial remarks, is ignorance."
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