A grieving Sydney mother wishes she had not waited for the kettle to boil because that's when her husband shook their "miracle baby" to death.
Her victim impact statement was read out in the New South Wale Supreme Court today at the sentence hearing for her ex-husband who can't be named and who has pleaded guilty to the manslaughter of their two-month-old daughter.
She died of catastrophic brain injury in hospital five days after he shook the crying baby in November 2015 causing her to become immediately unconscious.
He also has admitted assault occasioning actual bodily harm, relating to old healed and healing rib fractures and various bruises.
He told hospital staff: "I'm trained as a lifeguard in my country and we were taught to inflict some pain to get a response ... you will find my teeth marks on her because I was trying to get a response."
In her statement, read out by a support person, the mother said: "I feel guilty that I left her that time with him."
"Why didn't the kettle boil faster?
"Why did I need to wash the bottle?
"He took my baby, he took my health, my hope, my last chance."
They met in Australia after both coming here independently as asylum seekers from Iran more than five years ago.
Doctors told the woman she would never fall pregnant due to her diabetes but eventually after a very difficult pregnancy, their "miracle baby" was born, the mother said.
After her daughter's death, she studied child care and recalled a time when a new baby came to the centre.
She was tiny, with beautiful black hair and black eyes but was a bit upset looking for her mother.
"Everyone else held her but she keep searching for her mother," she said.
"But when I held her, she settled in my arms and fell asleep."
The baby had the same name as her dead daughter and "it was like a bomb going off in my heart".
Justice Lucy McCallum was told the father had been diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and had been stabbed in jail while on remand.
She will sentence him on November 9.