Perenara's Māori journey making him a better player

July 15, 2021

The halfback said he used to stay away from kapa haka as a kid because he was too embarrassed he didn't know te reo.

TJ Perenara has been a leader in Māoridom for the All Blacks for years, but it didn’t come to him without a lengthy journey of self-discovery and appreciation.

The Te Arawa and Ngāti Rangithi halfback was born and raised in Porirua but did so without a connection to his culture.

Looking back, Perenara told Te Karare it was a painful time for him.

“For me, I never felt like I lost my culture - I never had it,” Perenara said as part of a three-part series 

“When I came to that realisation, it hurt me.”

Making matters worse was his inability to find a way to belong.

“I grew up knowing I was Māori but I didn’t know anything about te reo Māori, tikanga Māori and I felt so disconnected from that side.

“I didn’t do kapa haka because I was so embarrassed and didn’t speak the language but I carry a very Māori name.”

Perenara is reportedly following the likes of Beauden Barrett in taking a rugby sabbatical next year.

Perenara learned to accept that it wasn’t his fault he was disconnected from his culture as a child though, instead making it his responsibility now as an adult to learn it.

That journey has been galvanised by the arrival of his daughter Amaia last year as well as the realisation that reconnecting with his whakapapa and learning Māori has not only made him a better person but a better player.

“I spent most of my life only knowing half of myself - I know my pakeha side but didn’t know my Māori side,” he said.

“The more I connect in that space, it’s helping shape me as an individual as a husband and as a father and a rugby player.”

Perenara is back in New Zealand playing club rugby currently after a stint in Japan, but hopes to make a return to the All Blacks later in the year once he’s played in the NPC.

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