Star Canterbury recruit Dylan Napa admits going through some dark days after the leaking of his infamous explicit videos.
Napa is bracing to learn his fate and is likely to be suspended for the opening rounds of the NRL season as a result of the saga.
He said he felt "embarrassed" for the women in his life but was managing to hold his head high after receiving the support of his club and family.
"I've had some days which weren't so pleasant but lucky I've had plenty of support from my family and also my Bulldogs family here," Napa said.
"There was some dark days."
Three of the videos depict Napa performing sexual acts and NRL chief executive Todd Greenberg has already suggested the Queensland Origin forward faces sanctions, saying he had damaged the reputation of the game.
Fronting the media for the first time since the emergence of the tapes, Napa for the most part refused to comment on the videos, citing an ongoing integrity unit investigation, but he said the drama had hit him hard.
"At the start I was a bit embarrassed because I've got a 92-year-old grandma and a one-year-old niece," he said.
"I know what it's like to have women in my life. Which really sucks. But it is what it is. My mum had my back 100 per cent."
Napa would also not comment on speculation about how the tapes ended up online.
Asked if there were more yet to emerge, Napa said: "Nothing surprises me now, man. Everything's out there. You can't quote me on any of that because I don't know. Nothing will surprise me."
The Bulldogs now face losing a key player for the start of the season despite the fact the videos were made while Napa was at the Sydney Roosters.
He came to Belmore as a replacement for NSW Origin and Australian prop David Klemmer and admitted it was not the start he wanted.
"I obviously wanted to set good examples and be a good role model for the young squad and it didn't go to plan," Napa said.
"It all got flipped on its head when this happened so I'm just looking to put it all behind me so I can put all my energy and focus on football which is what I came here for."