Thank goodness, is all I can say, that the current government, unlike the feckless opposition, wants to protect us from rapists and murderers.
In the same way Prime Minister John Key urged us to “Get some guts!” and send our young men and women to fight the good fight in Iraq, he’s also been raising his voice and spittle-flecking the opposition bench with a ferocious passion about protecting innocent New Zealanders against our not-so-innocent brethren detained in Australian prison camps.
In the same way the Prime Minister had not actually briefed himself fully on the details of who exactly we were sent to fight in Iraq, he doesn’t have a complete grasp on the numbers of murderers, rapists and other scumbags held in Australian detention centres.
But I ask you, why should he concern himself with the details?
In this case, as in Iraq, big important countries that he likes to visit for lavish state visits and awesome selfies have laid down the ground rules, and there’s every reason for us to roll over like lapdogs and take whatever’s coming to us.
As long as our Prime Minister goes to sleep each night in 1000 thread Egyptian cotton sheets, why on earth should he be worried about New Zealanders who have done nothing more than be members of a motorcycle club and now find themselves banged up with broken and abused asylum seekers, sick women and children, and hardened criminals?
For goodness sake, you act as though he should be concerned about New Zealanders denied due process around the world.
Look, he’ll talk to Australian Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull about it, OK?
In the meantime, he’ll say our detainees can leave whenever they want. He might then change his story, admitting it will take longer than that.
Then he might say that we’ll get them back soon, and then pollsters will tell him we don’t want them at all. The last one’s the most important.
No, he won’t twist Turnbull’s arm or anything, and as soon as Malcolm moves the subject on to something like rugby he may even let out a big sigh of relief.
But he will ask why, not just New Zealanders, but asylum seekers and many others are detained indefinitely with no legal representation, no media allowed, inadequate medical services, claims of sexual abuse and relentless violence. Promise.
He won’t be moved by leftie troublemakers in other parts of the world. Even if 108 countries – including North Korea, Rwanda, Iran – oh, and the US and the UK – plead with Australia to stop its inhumane offshore detention system.
We’re ANZAC cuzzies, don’t you know.
But really, the most important thing for our Prime Minister is that he is saving New Zealand from murderers and rapists, and that’s what he would like us to all remember.
And no, it actually doesn’t matter that under his Government, rape crisis services have been shut down, and domestic violence continues to rise.
As he says, the police have done their very best, even though two well publicised rounds of Roastbuster-type scandals have hit the headlines.
It’s got nothing to do with him that a Malaysian diplomat was spirited out of the country before facing sex attack charges. And that other MPs with dubious records also manage to disappear themselves before the manure hits the fan.
Like I say, it’s clear that someone like Kelvin Davis, who was a driving force behind the Men Against Sexual Violence walk, clearly wants rapists to be welcome in New Zealand; their past sins forgotten.
And that’s the main point the Prime Minister, and his Speaker, another well-known advocate for women, want us to remember.