'Still fresh in my mind' — Physical and psychological scars remain two years on from Christchurch terror attack

March 15, 2021

Rahimi Ahmad was gravely wounded after being shot at Al Noor Mosque.

Two years on from the Christchurch terrorist attack, the survivors of the brutal attack still deal with the physical and psychological scars of his act of terrorism.

The mass murderer is behind bars for the rest of his life for killing 51 worshippers and wounding 40 others.

Rahimi Ahmad was one of those who were gravely wounded, praying in what was once his place of sanctuary.

"Every single bullet that had been shot [is] still fresh in my ears, still fresh in my mind," he told 1 NEWS.

Today marks two years since he was shot in the stomach, put in an induced coma. Bullet fragments lodged deep in his spinal cord.

"I cry every night because of pain, it's unimaginable," Ahmad says.

"[The bullets have] to stay there forever. Nothing [they] can do."

But he's never given up on learning to walk again, despite the searing pain.

"I think for the first ten steps, it's very, very hard," Ahmad says, adding he feels proud to see himself pushing through the pain.

"I know I can do this, it's not easy."

Ahmad spends three days a week in physiotherapy, aqua therapy, acupuncture and counselling to cope with everything he saw, felt and heard.

But returning to Al Noor Mosque, where his friends were slain right in front of him, has proven too much.

"I'm going every week to another place for Friday prayer, but it's still in my mind that it's not safe there ... I still remember somebody can come from the back."

From his wheelchair, Ahmad looked the terrorist in the eye as his victim impact statement was read at the sentencing. 

His 10-year-old son was with him in the mosque that day.

"I am worried for my son's soul. He has nightmares often now," Ahmad said at the sentencing.

"At first he held his emotions in, but the flashbacks of seeing me being shot and others dying around me... makes me cry thinking about it."

Speaking today, Ahmad says: "For me, hate made people like me suffer pain every day, suffer emotional for our family every day."

He refuses to let that hate win.

And he's slowly getting stronger for his family, who help him everyday, on his long and painful journey of recovery.

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