Retirement village resident uses lessons from childhood to help end loneliness among elderly

November 3, 2020

Many of our older population experienced fear and anxiety when Covid-19 arrived in New Zealand.

This year’s lockdowns have thrown a spotlight on loneliness among the elderly.

Many of our older population experienced fear and anxiety when Covid-19 arrived in New Zealand.

One of them was Maggie Wyse, a Resident at Park Lane Retirement Village in Christchurch.

It brought up painful memories of her childhood in Scotland.

“I felt as if I was choking, I just cried and cried and cried. I just didn’t know what to do with myself," the 79-year-old said.

Maggie was born during the Second World War.

“I lived through bombing, it was terrible. I would hate to think of all you young ones to die having to live through another war, it is not good.”

Then she got polio aged 12, and was put in an iron lung twice, once for 6 months.

“I kept crying 'I want my mum I want my mum.'

"But I couldn't see my mum cause she wasn't allowed in.”

So, when her retirement village went into lockdown, it felt like déjà vu.

“I'd been through it, I know what it was like, to be in that situation. You're stuck somewhere where you can't get out, you don't know what to do," she said.

“You felt as if this world's going to stop and everyone's going to fall off."

So Maggie began helping out.

She was the resident hairdresser, and seamstress - she even got her own sewing room, repairing close to 100 pairs of trousers.

But most importantly, she was there for her friends.

“I'm trying to tell them, don't worry everything's going to be alright."

“I will help anyone, I don't care who they are, what they are, what make they are or anything else, or how badly they mean. 

"If I need to, I’ll get in there and I’ll help them."

A rather special friendship began when 80-year-old Sharon met 23-year-old Maddi.

Steven Walker was one of the residents on the receiving end of Maggie’s help.

“Everyone needs a buddy or someone to talk to, everyone likes to be liked, everyone likes to be loved, and someone who can just say 'Steve, sit down, shut up and listen to me will you.'

"Maggie was the person who could do that” he said.

Age Concern said loneliness is a problem amongst the elderly, but one every Kiwi can help solve.

“It's about connecting the community, and we can connect with someone and Maggie did that didn't she? She just made it easy” said Age Concern CEO Stephanie Clare.

“Our seniors are a bit more nervous than the rest of New Zealand and they are a bit more anxious and they need to be invited out and be included, they are our true treasures and they should be part of our world."

The advice for seniors - don’t be afraid to ask for help.

“Talk to their neighbours, to talk to their family, to reach out to really ask and connect with the community” Clare said.

“They can go to letsendloneliness.co.nz and they can find out what they can do for themselves, what they can do for their community and what they can do for their workplace."

Maggie said the most important thing is to talk to those around you.

“You've got to, that's something that's got to be done all the time.

“Let them know darling that you are suffering, it's hard, you want to cry.

"Have a cry, really cry, let them hold you. You give them a hug and just think it out and everything will be alright.”

One rest home has reported a nearly 50 per cent jump in interest.

And to share your heart with others.

“It's the only thing you can do love, you've got to give your heart completely to other people.

"My heart's just not big enough to give it any more. I think everyone in here has got part of my heart and I love everyone in here I really do."

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