Hannah Longley has spoken of rebuilding her life seven years after her teenage sister Emily was murdered in England.
Hannah spoke to TVNZ’s Re: as part of the channel’s Mental Health series and said that although the grief is always there, she has learnt she can survive the pain.
Emily’s boyfriend Elliot Turner was given a life sentence for the 2011 murder of the former Westlake Girls High School student in a fit of jealous rage at his home in Bournemouth, South England.
Hannah says the initial reaction was one of shock to the news of her sister’s death, and denial at what had happened.
She was still at school at the time and went back to be with her friends as soon as she could, but found it difficult to cope.
Seven years on, she says: “Grief, obviously it is a massive process. Some days, it is definitely still there. It isn’t as intrusive and invasive but I don’t think it is something that ever goes away ever.”
Sometimes she has to take time out from life, but knows she has to go back out and face the world.
From the heartache she has a positive message: “You can get through it. It is going to be the hardest thing you are ever going to do, but you can survive this.”
And her vow to Turner, who she says never showed any sadness at Emily’s death, is that he ruined one life but he won’t destroy hers.
Hannah is now studying psychotherapy at AUT in Auckland and helping at risk children at Youth in Transition in Whangaparaoa.
She urges others facing tragedy, and those who are victims of domestic abuse, to speak up and ask for help.
Her father and step-mother have since had another baby who brings joy to the family, and Hannah says: “We have picked up all the broken pieces and glued them back together. They’re a bit wonky, but we’re doing it.”
* See Hannah’s full story as part of Re:’s Not a Blanket Approach mental health series
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