For three years one Kiwi woman endured her partner's abuse.
He threatened to strangle her, stalked her, broke into her home, would text death threats to her, shoved furniture into her, dragged her through the house and spat on her.
The woman, who didn't want to be identified, told 1 NEWS she finally wanted to speak out.
"There was a constant level of fear... it was keeping me in a state where I was fearful all the time," she said.
Before she met her ex-partner, she was a confident person.
She described herself as happy, studying at university and was running her own business.
She then "disappeared and became a shell of my former self".
The domestic abuse survivor is encouraging other victims to get help, if they are in similar relationships.
"I don't think we yet understand the magnitude of the problem and I think a huge part of that is the shame and the fear that goes with this topic," she said.
"It's an icky topic, it makes people squirm and feel uncomfortable."
Kiwi man Alexander Masame also shared his story with 1 NEWS, as a former abuser.
He abused his ex-wife.
"The most valuable thing for me was I needed to know everything... basically I didn't have the skills to help myself even though I was arrogant and cocky," he said.
According to studies, one in three New Zealand women will suffer domestic violence in their lifetime.
It's a topic set to be talked about this week.
The Light It Up Campaign wants to shine light on domestic violence.
The charity says hundreds of men go through their weekly programmes, and leaders reckon about a third turn their lives around.