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Counsellors dealing with rise in calls about grief as Kiwi families struggle with loss during festive season

December 21, 2019

Lifeline's clinical manager Renee Mathews says the type of calls the counsellors receive at this time of year is noticeably different to other months.

Christmas - a merry time for many; a difficult time for those struggling with the loss of a loved one. 

By Emily Heyward

Support services around the country are noticing a rise in the number of calls to do with grief in the lead up to Christmas. 

Lifeline's clinical manager Renee Mathews says the type of calls the counsellors receive at this time of year is noticeably different to other months.

"Feelings of grief can re-emerge, even if you have felt like you have dealt with it during the year," Ms Mathews said.

"Getting together with family and just seeing the gap where somebody would have been can really just bring up a big hole."

A hole that 24-year-old Georgie Harris knows all too well after losing her father to suicide.

"Last year he passed away two months before Christmas and it was quiet [on Christmas Day], substantially more quiet than what it used to be because dad's laugh would echo around the house," she said. 

Christmas morning used to involve her dad acting as Santa, handing out presents with his Christmas hat on. Now the family is figuring out how to navigate the day without him. 

"We tried to make new memories as a family, kept ourselves busy," Ms Harris said.

"But we still have his Santa sack sitting on his chair from last year so we put a few things in there for him."

A counsellor from The Grief Centre, a charity supporting those who have lost a loved one, says Christmas can intensify difficult emotions. 

But Val Leveson says acknowledging the pain and loss is important.

"It's not about having to put on a happy face or anything. It's about saying yes, I can enjoy my Christmas but I can miss this person."

As Ms Harris heads into her second Christmas without her dad, she says she will always cherish the memories she made with him while he was alive. 

The number of suicides in New Zealand in the past year has risen to 685, the highest level since records began. 

New Zealand Police are urging anyone feeling overwhelmed and in distress this festive season, to reach out for help.

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