A problematic pavlova sends one hopeful baker home.
Dessert. Desert. Two words, two very different meanings, especially on a show like Bake Off. So you want to be careful, not to get them mixed up.
You know who wouldn’t have that problem? Annabel. That girl - yes, just 19 - doesn’t seem to struggle with anything!
Ridiculously good roulades, perfect pavs, knowing exactly what a ribbon stage is… and she seems like the sweetest kid.
Spoiler alert (yes really), the nicest baker on the nicest baking show trampled (ever-so-nicely) all over her competition to take out the Star Baker crown for the second time in just three weeks without even breaking a sweat in dessert week. #Sorrynotsorry.
So far, no one has actually managed to convince me that Annabel isn’t actually one of those very modern robot-people-hybrid things that are actually going to take over the world without us actually realising. And I mean that in the nicest possible way.
Do you know who’s not a beautiful, angelic android? Almost everyone else in the tent, who clearly struggled with Sue Fleischl’s Technical Challenge; the old chocolate log (or roulade, as Fancy Sue calls it).
As the challenge rolled out, it was clear half the tent was a little in love with ganache and sponge, and the other half just didn’t really know what was going on - or how to pronounce the Dish Of The Day (Hi Joel!).
Shannon’s log was “a bit leathery” and “a little omelettey” according to #FleischlSchneider (yes, that is still a thing) while Sonali delivered a tree-stump full of seepage and curdling.
It was not a good time. In fact, it was a very, very bad time.
In her words, she totally lost control of that roulade. Like a runaway train. But her Ribbon Stage Dance was a sensual delight, so she’s got that to hold on to.
Meanwhile Joel, who, surprise, didn’t quite seem to know what he was doing yet again, nailed the woody creation, taking out third spot just behind Jeff and winner, yes, Annabel.
I want to say the Showstopper Challenge was better, but in reality, reader, it was not.
Pavlova is a tricky beast - hard to do without any stopwatches, let alone under the watchful gaze of half a dozen cameras.
But as Clayton explained it, get the crunch on the outside and the marshmallow on the inside, and his family would be happy.
Well Clayton, unless Sue and Dean are regulars around your Christmas tree, they might want a little bit more from you.
In fact, Dean wanted a pav that sang to him, or at the very least, “lights his eyes up”, so I think the standards are fairly high.
In the end it was a case of “too crunchy, too flat, too soggy” - because #FleischlSchneider are essentially the fussy Goldilocks of Kiwi kitchens.
Joel’s pav was inspired by “the national New Zealand rugby team” - I guess there are some legal issues if you reference them by name. And Hannah threw everything at her pav, making a pretty, busy affair.
Larissa continued her dicey flirtation with elimination thanks to a cake-like bake, which was all cream, no meringue, while Vanessa produced Sue’s fav of the day - or maybe that was just the boozy curd talking.
Clayton made a bold move, proposing he'd give the judges a “masterclass” in macaroon-making, while poor Larissa (the funniest human in the kitchen - sorry Hayley and Mads) said she’d memorised the recipe for the little French bickies, but she just couldn’t really remember it when the judges wanted details.
But it was Shannon who really struggled. He went with the sturdiest pav, using the exotic Italian method - and the result certainly was solid. Like a flat, un-pavlova-ey strawberry and mango rock. And yet somehow, it was still described as soup.
Watching him plate up his bake was possibly the saddest moment on the show so far.
He knew it, we knew it, he knew we knew it, and we knew he knew we knew it. So the news of his departure from the tent was far from a surprise.
“Does it change how I feel about baking? Absolutely,” he said.
But he’s not too worried. He reckons it means he’ll have time to focus on doing other things he loves...like going for walks. Shannon, this is why we will miss you most of all.
And no one could miss the Star Baker crown being delicately placed on Annabel’s head for the second time thanks to a beautiful kiwifruit and lime pav - it was truly glorious and I want to eat it now.
If this was a nastier show, there would be a solid target on her back, but thankfully there’s nothing but hugs and words of sweet encouragement from her fellow bakers. For now...
The Great Kiwi Bake Off is on TVNZ 2 on Tuesdays at 7.30pm and then on TVNZ OnDemand
Bridget Jones is a TVNZ publicist and former entertainment reporter
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